在尼古拉鐵路１的一個火車站上，兩位朋友，一個胖子和一個瘦子，相遇了。胖子剛剛在火車站餐廳里用過午餐，他的嘴唇油亮亮的，像熟透了的櫻 桃。他身上有一股核烈斯酒２和橙花的气味。瘦子剛從車廂里下來，吃力地提著箱子、包裹和硬紙盒。他身上有一股火腿腸和咖啡渣的气味。在他背后，有個下巴很 長的瘦女人不時探頭張望--那是他的妻子，還有一個眯著一只眼的中學生，他的儿子。
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１莫斯科至彼得堡的鐵路，以沙皇尼古拉一世命名。
２一种烈性白葡萄酒。
“波爾菲里！”胖子看到瘦子大聲喊道，“是你嗎？我親愛的！多少個冬天，多少個夏天沒見面啦！”
“我的老天爺！”瘦子惊呼道，“這是米沙，小時候的朋友！你打從哪儿來？”
兩位朋友互相擁抱，一連吻了三次，然后彼此看著對方淚汪汪的眼睛。兩人都感到又惊又喜。
“我親愛的！”接吻后瘦子開始道，“真沒有料到！簡直喜出望外！哎，你倒是仔細瞧瞧我！你呢，還是那么一個美男子，跟從前一樣！還是那樣气 派，喜歡打扮！咳，你，天哪！噢，你怎么樣？發財了吧？結婚了吧？我已經成家了，你看……這是我的妻子路易莎，娘家姓万岑巴赫……她是新教徒……這是我的 儿子，納法奈爾，中學三年級學生。納法尼亞３，這位是我小時候的朋友！中學同班同學！”
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３納法奈爾的愛稱。
納法奈爾猶豫一下，摘下帽子。
“中學同班同學！”瘦子接著說，“你可記得，同學們當時怎么拿你開心的？給你起了一個外號，叫赫洛斯特拉特４，因為你用香煙把公家的一本圖書燒了一個洞。我的外號叫厄菲阿爾特５，因為我喜歡告密。哈
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４古代希腊人，他為了揚名于世，在公元前三五六年焚燒了世界七大奇觀之一的阿泰密斯神廟。
５古代希腊人，曾引波蘭軍隊入境。
哈……當時都是小孩子哩！你別害怕，納法尼亞！你走過來呀……噢，這是我的妻子，娘家姓万岑巴赫……新教徒。”
納法奈爾猶豫一下，躲到父親背后去了。
“喂，朋友，你生活得怎么樣？”胖子熱情地望著朋友，問道，“在哪儿供職？做多大的官啦？”
“在供職，我親愛的！升了八品文官，已經做了兩年了，還得了一枚圣斯坦尼斯拉夫勳章。薪金不高……咳，去它的！我妻子給人上音樂課，我呢，工 作之余用木料做煙盒。煙盒很精致！我賣一盧布一個。若是有人要十個或十個以上，你知道，我就給他便宜點。好歹能維持生活。你知道，原來我在一個廳里做科 員，現在把我調到這里任科長，還是原來那個部門……往后我就在這里工作了。噢，你怎么樣？恐怕已經做到五品文官了吧？啊？”
“不對，親愛的，再往上提，”胖子說，“我已經是三品文官了……有兩枚星章。”
剎那間，瘦子臉色發白，目瞪口呆，但很快他的臉往四下里扭動，做出一副喜气洋洋的笑容。似乎是，他的臉上，他的眼睛里直冒金星。他本人則蜷縮 起來，彎腰曲背，矮了半截……他的那些箱子、包裹和硬紙盒也在縮小，皺眉蹙額……他妻子的長下巴拉得更長，納法奈爾垂手直立，扣上了大衣上所有的紐扣……
“我，大人……非常高興！您，可以說，原是我儿時的朋友，忽然間，青云直上，成了如此顯赫的高官重臣！嘿嘿，大人！”
“哎，算了吧！”胖子皺起了眉頭，“何必來這种腔調！你我是儿時朋友--何必來這一套官場里的奉承！”
“哪儿行呢……您怎么能這么說，大人……”瘦子縮得更小，嘿嘿笑著說，“大人体恤下情……使我如蒙再生的甘露……這是，大人，我的儿子納法奈爾……這是我妻子路易莎，新教徒，某种意義上說……”
胖子本想反駁他几句，但看到瘦子那副誠惶誠恐、阿諛謅媚、低三下四的寒酸相，使得三品文官几乎要嘔吐了。他扭過臉去，向瘦子伸出一只手告別。
瘦子握握他的三個指頭，一躬到地，像中國人那樣嘿嘿笑著。他妻子眉開眼笑。納法奈爾喀嚓一聲，收腳敬禮，把制帽掉到地上。一家三口都感到又惊又喜。
一八八三年十月一日
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Two friends--one a fat man and the other a thin man--met at the Nikolaevsky station. The fat man had just dined in the station and his greasy lips shone like ripe cherries. He smelt of sherry and _fleur d'orange_. The thin man had just slipped out of the train and was laden with portmanteaus, bundles, and bandboxes. He smelt of ham and coffee grounds. A thin woman with a long chin, his wife, and a tall schoolboy with one eye screwed up came into view behind his back.
"Porfiry," cried the fat man on seeing the thin man. "Is it you? My dear fellow! How many summers, how many winters!"
"Holy saints!" cried the thin man in amazement. "Misha! The friend of my childhood! Where have you dropped from?"
The friends kissed each other three times, and gazed at each other with eyes full of tears. Both were agreeably astounded.
"My dear boy!" began the thin man after the kissing. "This is unexpected! This is a surprise! Come have a good look at me! Just as handsome as I used to be! Just as great a darling and a dandy! Good gracious me! Well, and how are you? Made your fortune? Married? I am married as you see. . . . This is my wife Luise, her maiden name was Vantsenbach . . . of the Lutheran persuasion. . . . And this is my son Nafanail, a schoolboy in the third class. This is the friend of my childhood, Nafanya. We were boys at school together!"
Nafanail thought a little and took off his cap.
"We were boys at school together," the thin man went
on. "Do you remember how they used to tease you? You were nicknamed Herostratus because you burned a hole in a schoolbook with a cigarette, and I was nicknamed Ephialtes because I was fond of telling tales. Ho--ho! . . . we were children! . . . Don't be shy, Nafanya. Go nearer to him. And this is my wife, her maiden name was Vantsenbach, of the Lutheran persuasion. . . ."Nafanail thought a little and took refuge behind his father's back.
"Well, how are you doing my friend?" the fat man asked, looking enthusiastically at his friend. "Are you in the service? What grade have you reached?"
"I am, dear boy! I have been a collegiate assessor for the last two years and I have the Stanislav. The salary is poor, but that's no great matter! The wife gives music lessons, and I go in for carving wooden cigarette cases in a private way. Capital cigarette cases! I sell them for a rouble each. If any one takes ten or more I make a reduction of course. We get along somehow. I served as a clerk, you know, and now I have been transferred here as a head clerk in the same department. I am going to serve here. And what about you? I bet
you are a civil councillor by now? Eh?""No dear boy, go higher than that," said the fat man. "I have risen to privy councillor already . . . I have two stars."
The thin man turned pale and rigid all at once, but soon his face twisted in all directions in the broadest smile; it seemed as though sparks were flashing from his face and eyes. He squirmed, he doubled together, crumpled up. . . . His portmanteaus, bundles and cardboard boxes
seemed to shrink and crumple up too. . . . His wife's long chin grew longer still; Nafanail drew himself up to attention and fastened all the buttons of his uniform."Your Excellency, I . . . delighted! The friend, one may say, of childhood and to have turned into such a great man! He--he!"
"Come, come!" the fat man frowned. "What's this tone for? You and I were friends as boys, and there is no need of this official obsequiousness!"
"Merciful heavens, your Excellency! What are you saying. . . ?" sniggered the thin man, wriggling more than ever. "Your Excellency's gracious attention is like refreshing manna. . . . This, your Excellency, is my son Nafanail, . . . my wife Luise, a Lutheran in a certain sense."
The fat man was about to make some protest, but the face of the thin man wore an expression of such reverence, sugariness, and mawkish respectfulness that the privy councillor was sickened. He turned away from the thin man, giving him his hand at parting.
The thin man pressed three fingers, bowed his whole body and sniggered like a Chinaman: "He--he--he!" His wife smiled. Nafanail scraped with his foot and dropped his cap. All three were agreeably overwhelmed.
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